Incredible contributed to the derby between Aberdeen and Celtic in the Scottish Premier League, Sauron's armies, reinforced by shaggy hordes of barbaric murderers, children and women abstechenden habitual criminals and other light-shy rabble crossed Mordor, the boundaries and fell into the Pittodrie Stadium in the lush green hills of the Shire one. Ray Hepburn, a death-defying young trades, succeeded with his friends Boromir and Legolas to fight their way up to Gondor, to report on the events. I will give you the story of the bloody carnage is not denied :

While the Scottish derbies, there was a flag of the "Red ultras" in the block of the home team.

And so ends the report of the events. There was nothing more that is happening. That you is not enough?

Obviously, our Lord Hepburn, but was still scared for so that he indulges us with a brief digression into the history of the Ultras - said he had banner that is messed up the day, or - as he puts it:

The flying of a blatant 'Red Ultras' banner at Pittodrie during weekend's superb Aberdeen v Celtic last match left a bad taste from an otherwise delicious Sunday lunch.

Blatant! A banner with the word "ultras" on it! Unbelievable! Scandal! The following ensues can be quite entertaining to-read report that even the most imaginative British tabloids announced in reverence our valiant Lord swear eternal allegiance would Hepburn. In a rhetorical trick he puts forward his article that it would eventually have to concede that the guys there anything about the origin of the word Ultras know and therefore the whole can only be assessed as a Stupid prank would be. This is a spectacular opening gambit namely schonmal set in stone, who here knows precisely the evil word: yours truly of the article. And he will not be long in the dark, comes to his civic duty and informs us what is behind the word "Waffen SS" ... sorry ... "Pol Pot" ... umm ... have the same ego: hidden "Ultra":

The history of Aberdeen's casuals tells us they should be treated as potential criminals who are there to cause, at best, intimidation, and at worst, violence and damage. There is no reason on earth why law-abiding football fans of either team to rub shoulders should have with people who choose their mentors as murderers.

"Potential criminals" So, who are only there to intimidate, to spread violence and damage! People, the murderers explain their role models! No stehener on the floor of the constitutional state football fan should have to stand next to such a fellow! For no reason in the world! The staccato of his razor-sheep claims is marred here and there by attempts to mix boring facts. After all, there was a knife fight between the Roma Ultras and Middelsbrough fans , for the three injured were complaining. Well, it was now 2006 and the Red Ultras of Aberdeen was now no one doing it, but you must resist the beginnings. Where would we be otherwise?

Just to refresh our memories generally Sherlock spread even to the nonchalant case of Raciti Sicilian derby 2007 one, a dead cop makes himself always good. That the charges of the prosecution even before any impartiality totally unsuspecting Italian judiciary is largely collapsed and now is most likely that the man was run over by his own colleagues, be here mentioned only once. Filippo Raciti's death and the stadium were Ultras - who has no connection as designed, are simply unaware of research. And our Meisterrechercheur powder has to be far from being fired:

And nine months later a fan was killed by a stray bullet after police clashed in Lazio louts in ambush with Juventus ultras in a service station.

You see, the man has done his homework! OK, this time it was a fan who was killed by a police bullet and the shooter is under indictment for willful murder because he shot more than two lanes on a car, but this kind intricacies of the confused reality interfere only Hepburn's stringent line of argument. Lazio-Juventus ultras had in fact pack in an "ambush" locked and only the heroic actions of police officers Luigi Spaccarotella was thanks to them that the Shire was not even then transformed into a desert! No one else speaks of an "ambush" and nobody would even think to consult the fatal shots at Gabriele Sandri as an example of the inhuman brutality of the Ultras, but we do not want to stay long with facts when it comes to Scottish Sesselpupsern times properly hinunterzujagen the horror back. And our hero has mirror nothing less than to create a classic of the horror genre.

If Italian clubs already do it not, it 'lifestyle criminals' with this superiority to bloody record, what should I do then poor Grampian Police? Or Aberdeen, shows in its venue, the green seeds of mass murder, their green tips. What's next? Ethnic cleansing in the Scottish League? Kent Brockman asks cope ... errr ... Ray Hepburn. The Scottish police must do something before flags become knives.

It is high time the SPL brushed up on their intelligence, before flags become knives.

Apart from the fact that it contradicts some tiny rule of law, schonmal preventive action against flag hangers, our fierce fighter for democracy quoted in the Shire in the same paragraph, that Real Madrid because of right-wing chants of their condemned "Ultras Sur" in the game against Osasuna to 2800 pounds was. 2800 pounds! There must have been hell going on! Antonio Pulvirenti, president of Catania is, with his famous quip by ultras cited as "barbarians" who have "kept for 3 years as a hostage," the club and who can do it alone against the overwhelming power of Orcs nothing. The same Pulvirenti, moreover, whose Catania, FC Internazionale for the game last night promised that Inter had to fight "against a whole town," not only against a team and also otherwise is not just a follower of the finely crafted verbal foils . (The "barbarians" saying comes from the way the hot phase of the case Raciti was made ​​2 years ago - are all made ​​after developments, facts and evidence at Hepburn, of course, under the table.)

Our game has enough potential for serious trouble with the bile and bigotry that flourishes in Glasgow without inviting this vile cancer to our new Board.

A malicious new cancer has therefore raised in Aberdeen, his blood-stained, dirty head (can I tell someone what to do bile and bigotry in Glasgow this?) And the idle police did not ensure the safety of other visitors to the stadium, so what I say , the whole Scottish nation, if not all Middle-earth, than done:

That banner is a stain on Aberdeen FC - and clear proof that Grampian Police are not earning their lucrative match-day overtime.

And what deserves our journalist famous for his horror story of the flag with the word "ultras" in the stadium in Aberdeen? I summarize the theater together again in all its absurdity: the plays against Celtic and Aberdeen in the Pittodrie Stadium hangs a banner 'Red Ultras'. Enough for the mirror to proclaim the demise of the West is clearly against murderers, arsonists and knife culture in the stadium and speak to call for the hard arm of the police. We do not use anti-constitutional symbols, no mention inappropriate whoops, no violence, no excessive alcohol consumption, no cold sausage - no nothing. It was the word "ultras" and used a brave Scottish journalist explains to us why this potential scandal of her is tantamount to a colored ribbon advertising the "killing fields".

I want to get involved in no further analysis, that from actually occurring violence and criminal acts of individuals nor to conclude on a total debt of entire population groups, how the linked piece of work from mirror.co.uk may take the opportunity now every journalist the gray Cells denied. I think the man should sometimes take the weapons of mass destruction in Mordor ... scusa, ... in Iraq. There is still much to save Middle-earth!